holy shit. we crashed the second keg. that's amazing work. to kill two kegs and it's barely ten o'clock now. i'm now drinking bourbon on ice. like beer but for a man.
david fucking gonzalez is on his way here right now, that son of a bitch. i don't know whether to be outraged or outrageously excited. i'll defer to the latter.
the keyboard is horribly sticky from someone spilling beer on it earlier. it wasn't me, just like it wasn't me who farted in the living room earlier though i was pathetically blamed for it. whatever.
fear it. the ham. the bacon. the tripe. the rabbit. the goat head. the meat houses. fear it. fear the love of a human, strong enough to take the life of animals. fear that shit, bitch.