Wednesday, March 07, 2007
Happy Ending
Friday, March 2, 2007
10:17pm - Go to hell. Go straight to hell. Footloose.
10:52 - It's time to make it happen. I used to have a blue finger at work til I found some paint thinner. I'm out there baby. A lesbian knows that I love her, evidently. Unfortunately, perhaps. Nonetheless......she's a lady and I'm a man and.............
Time unknown - Skank ho (not my lover) needs a dance partner. No thank you. Sugar Town Hustle is bustin a groove. Oh yeah.
1:18am - Mehdi (Medhi?) is a giant d-bag and I just bought him a shot because he beat me 2 out of 3.
1:20 - I "just blew up a shrimp basket."
1:24 - Def some skanks here ho-ing with their booty-cracks showing. One wearing a see-thru shirt so her black bra is showing too. She got a booty like Jack Nicholson in Easy Rider. That's not good.
1:28 - Just called Mehdi a half-breed. I agree with Drew--that probably crossed the line. Now I'm going to go beat the ass of Matthew the bouncer.

Saturday, March 3, 2007
2:56pm - Got punched in the face by a girl last night. Cheekbone is a little tender this morning. This afternoon, sorry. When you are a degenerate and have so self-control it's hard to keep track of the hemispheres of the day. Speaking of hemispheres, the guy on the radio said that there will be a full lunar eclipse tonight. Fortunately, "night" is a hemisphere I have no trouble keeping straight.
3:06 - Woman tweezing her eyebrows right now next to me on the D train. Just thought that should be noted. She's actually fairly attractive, even with the eyebrows.
10:08 - Nearly drunk again already. Smoked a couple pipe bowls while pervin in Central Park earlier today. Just now amusing myself with Dave about shaming Drew into letting me punch him in the face to avenge last night. I think he'll go for it as a kind of misguided attempt at romance or chivalry. Idiot.
12:06am - At my favorite bar on Rivington. My ignoramous friend just got an education about Rivington and the LES.
12:14 - I didn't get the memo but evidently jaw-line beards are pretty hip. In other news, bags of douche are messy.
12:18 - Two chicks opposite myself in my favorite bar are being made uncomfortable by my admittedly awkward effrontery. One has a man-friend. He's got facial hair on his jaw. I do too, but because I have a beard like a man, not a novelty item. i don't look like a pirate and I don't look like a hipster and I don't look like a Puerto Rican. This is because I am better than you. Yes. Yes. Sorry.
Time unknown - So everbody is eating cupcakes now except me. Dave just bragged about getting 4 beers for $10, which is awesome. Ellie-respect. I'm now being very aggresive and covert--sitting at the cupcake table by myself. Fuck sugar, fuck society.
(Also time unknown - here a renegade journalist picked up my bad and said disparaging things about me, insulting my attire, my sexuality, and calling me the d-word numerous times. Shame. On you.)
Time unknown - D-bag superstars.
2:38 - I'm engaged to be married right now. It was beautiful--I got down on one knee, she got emotional and awkward, it was awesome. But she was still wearing the paper ring I gave her 20+ minutes later. This one's gonna last, baby. I love that ho. Baby. I love that ho-baby.