I am looking for a job now. This is very necessary and very evil. Constant looking and what I will call relentless waiting. Because I have to sign up for many websites in order to look for or apply to jobs, my inbox is filling up with job "opportunities" from people I don't know. The problem is that all of these are crap, and most are computer generated, trying to get me to sell something for them. I am not a salesman. Sometimes they are trying to get me to apply to a very menial job or to sign up to their headhunting agency (which is a whole other story). Of all the email there has been only one that seems legitimate (it was accompanied by an actual phone message from an actual person), but I haven't made real contact yet so I don't know what kind of prospect it is.
Job-searching is about patience and persistence, but mostly it's about selling yourself and by extension lying. I am terrible at these things. I am terrible because it makes me very uncomfortable talking myself up. My whole approach to life is to simply get my things done as best I can and to let that speak for itself. I don't need credit and I don't need praise. Selling yourself requires generating your own praise and claiming credit often for things undeserved.
The paragon of the entire process is of course the resume. When making connections to other people, or in networking yourself through helpers, usually the only currency involved is a resume. Plenty of times when applying directly for a job you are given the opportunity to also include a cover letter, but the convention behind this is also far too formal to be worth a damn, and besides when dealing only with contacts cover letters are never used. It's always simply the resume.
It's a little intimidating and absurd that your whole professional existence could be reduced to a single page of words, or that your entire essence should be shoe-horned into something so formulaic.
Has anyone ever felt truly satisfied with their resume? I'd like to think that if you do your job well, and you contribute beyond simply what's in the job description--that you always actively apply your brain--that it should be impossible to boil down your value into an easy description. Part of this is the nature of the comprehensiveness of my job, but I find it difficult to succinctly even describe my current job. How am I then supposed to compress my experience into something that would be appealing to a recruiter?
I am not someone who makes great first impressions. I don't think I put people off--well, sometimes, but mostly not. I just am not a person that a stranger will walk away from and think "Gee that guy was really nice or really personable." For one thing, it's been my experience that a person who will cause that reaction is a horrible phony. I don't really enjoy or tolerate chit-chat, and that is basically what job-searching is all about.
I like to think that when someone deals with me, that there is always something more to me than I offer. I don't feel it's necessary to always supply the punchline or interject with a witty remark. It's ok to let a conversation flow naturally even if it doesn't flow directly through you, and even if you have something to add. Anyway, I am really just usually so confident with myself that I don't feel the need to show myself off or to attempt to create any kind of adoration in those around me.
My hope is that the more that people get to know me and the more they uncover the more they will like me. This approach isn't very compatible with looking for a job. And I can somewhat accept that, since it is me doing the looking and therefore needing to be proactive. It's just a necessary evil.
I'm not sure what my intent is in writing this post. I'm not trying to complain, and I'm not trying to offer a better solution. I guess I'm just haplessly describing a situation, putting something out there that I can re-read after successfully completing my search and landing a superduper job. For now I will go touch up my resume, which is kinda like perfecting a mask of myself with the intent of wearing it and making it seem like me. The world is really not ready or patient or interested enough to just see my real face.
1 comment:
Great post. Totally understand how you feel about resumes. But after working with them for a few years, I would say there is a way to represent yourself honestly and genuinely while catching someone's attention. Overall, though, you just have to play the game so you can keep hunting and gathering.
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