Who are these people that have the capability to be so demonstrative on their cell phones out on the sidewalks before 8:00am? Sure there are some real go-getter morning people in the world, but I'm seeing them in downtown Brooklyn coming out of apartment buildings, not downtown Manhattan outside investment banking houses. I guess some people just need to be seen right from the get-go. There is just no need for that.

I was reading something on a baby site yesterday. A few weeks ago, I moved over fully to reading about post-birth items, and one of them was titled something like this: "Caring for your newborn's umbilical cord stump." Caring for my newborn's umbilical cord stump. Obviously this is something that I'll need to remember to actually remark upon after I've experienced it, but just reading that line makes me feel like a character in David Lynch short film.

Sara asked me last night if we should take an old bedsheet and cover our couch with it, to protect against the baby's vomit. And so it begins.

We met with the fourth of five obstetricians at our doctor's office yesterday, maybe the most senior of the group. We might have been her last appointment of the day, and it's the only time we'll see her unless Sara goes into labor at a weird time and she's covering the shift, but this woman was almost jarringly blase about the whole thing. I think Sara could have told her that the fetus's hands were stabbing out through her stomach and stealing bits of food off her plate and she would have given us a glazed response: "Yeah sure, that's normal."
In a way, I like the idea of a somewhat grizzled doctor running the show, because if some shit hits the fan, then you know this woman will be ready for it, but on the other hand, giving birth is usually a long intimate process, and actually having a personality attached to the doctor is not a totally frivolous preference.

I really blanch at seeming to criticize her for this, because I'm not, and because curiosity and a zest for information are very good right now, but sometimes I wonder if she doesn't take too seriously the myriad pieces of advice or simple experiential stories offered to her by other parents. It's part of Sara's nature to really care what other people have to say, and rather not part of mine. That's ok, that's a simple difference that I hope I'm mature enough to accept (and even to accept that my approach is lesser). I guess it's the other parents that I silently have issue with. Just because you had/have a child, doesn't make you some expert. Your experience, while perhaps sometimes applicable to others, is only your experience and not the universal law. There are so many ins and outs to the whole process of making a baby into a person that I feel it's kinda self-centric to project yourself across wide spectrums of experience. (Heh. The spell-check is flagging that word "spectrums." At first I couldn't imagine why but then it dawned on me: damned Romans. "Spectra?" That, or the spell-checker's got more of a philosophical slant than I would have guessed. Anyway, I'm leaving it.)
I think people are always trying to find places where they can interject themselves and be listened to, or simply to feel like their opinion is needed or valued. It serves to glorify themselves, at least in their own eyes. Parenthood is one of those things that allows a lot of latitude for a person to feel like an expert, because every experience is unique, and because culturally it's hard to really criticize a parent, at least one that isn't leaving his kids locked in a parked car or something. But the thing most of the self-centered masses fail to consider before constantly sharing their expertise is that this extremely broad and universal uniqueness serves to undercut their preciousness. In terms of the rest of the world, there is nothing special about having or raising a child. It happens every day in all corners of the world to all types of people. It's not at all important to everyone else. It's important to you, to you it's a miracle and "the greatest and toughest thing you'll ever do" and all manner of hyperbole. To you. Not to everyone. Too few people understand this. No--too few people behave accordingly.