Simple Truth

I've interacted with a lot of people in the last few months about pregnancy and having children. And since my wife is just about 35 weeks pregnant, I've spent just about that much time thinking about it myself. Just about the most important conclusion that I've come to is a very simple one, but that really should be repeated quite often, as it tends to get lost in the hubbub.
The point of pregnancy is not to be pregnant or to tell people you are pregnant. The point of pregnancy, of having a family, of childbirth, of everything, is to raise a human being and make sure he/she is as healthy and ultimately as prepared for adulthood as possible. That is the task. Every single tiny bit of the years-long process is about the child, not about you.
If you are a parent, or are in a relationship with a pregnant person, or are considering having a kid, and your motivation or desire is remotely divergent from that, then stop. You are not prepared do be the best you can for another person.
I've said it a lot (maybe mostly to myself), but you have to get your own life in order before you can even think about sharing a life with someone else. This is many times more important when talking about a child, something truly helpless and clueless.
Are you disciplined enough to stick to a workout of diet regimen? If not, don't have a kid.
Are you responsible enough to save money, even when it's painful or inconvenient? If not, don't have a kid.
Are you a person who is ok to always let the other person in an argument have the last word? If not, don't have a kid.
Are you mentally strong enough to sit and sweat for hours in a hot room because it's preferable for someone else? If not, don't have a kid.
Are you selfless enough to always choose the more difficult path so that someone else doesn't have to? If not, don't have a kid.
Are you ok never ever being the center of attention?
Can you handle the neverending stress of approaching life like Joe DiMaggio* every moment of your life?
Believe me, it's a little intimidating thinking about all of this, and I'm not so deluded to think that I'm some kind of zen master as it comes to every one of these points. But I am aware of them, and I am fully prepared to meet them.


*Always one of my favorite quotes/stories ever: supposedly some writer asked Joltin Joe why he was so professional, why he tried so hard every day, ran out grounders, always kept his uniform pristine, why he never let himself have an off-day, and his response was: "Because somewhere in the crowd might be a little kid who's never seen me play, and I owe it to that kid to show him how great I am."