i subscribe to New York magazine. every monday, excepting holidays or mondays after a double issue comes out, a new issue arrives in my mailbox. the first thing i do with it is go to the back sections with the art/movies/etc reviews and listings, and see if anything interesting is going on. then i like to check out the "approval matrix" and to see if there are any features worth my time. and at some point during the week i'll do the crossword, unless my brain isn't clicking very well, in which case i'll do 90% of the crossword.

anyhow, for whatever reason, i didn't find the time to do any of these things last week. there is an untouched black magazine in my apt right now with an asian woman on the cover about to kiss some toes, and there is also a new one with good old rudy giuliani on it that just arrvied yesterday.

i have been busy lately. people say that all the time, usually as an excusal. as i say it now i am wholly forthright. friday i didn't get home from work til after the bars. saturday i spent only enough time in my apt to get dressed, get a shower, and get dressed again. sunday only long enough to eat the mcdonalds that i passed out before getting to the night before, have sex, and spend 90 minutes or so at the end of the day being exhausted (more on this later). the only day from last week that i had fully to myself was thursday and i spent most of that evening shopping for a suit and doing laundry. so i have been busy lately. perhaps i will go back and skim last week's New York, perhaps not.

i have been busy because i've started seeing a girl, something that doesn't happen often. actually, counting mornings after which she or i had spent the night, i have seen her now nine consecutive days. and this doesn't bother or worry me at all. it, and she, is completely comfortable and effortless for me. these are very high compliments from me. so it's good.

a side effect of this girl (and we can now confirm it's a side effect of seeing any girl) is that i have become moody. not violently so, but still very susceptible to sudden swings in mood. what's good is that i have recognized this quite early and so shouldn't be doomed to suffer because of it.

now, back to the aforementioned 90 minutes which finished off my sunday night. (warning this is an admission that shouldn't possibly be misconstrued as endering or anything above that which might cause you to mournfully shake your head at me the next time you see me.) after a long day of beer consumption and football watching, i returned to my apartment--team victorious--to what i expected to be a satisfying glass of water before heading off to beer-assisted sleep. what i didn't count on was my turning on the tv and flipping around the 7-8 channels i get before stopping on an episode of sex and the city. of course i became engrossed and watched the entire episode. now let it be known that my eyelids because dry and very heavy and yet the allure of the show kept me from submitting to sleep. now let it also be known that this particular episode was one i had already viewed in its entirety. yes ineed. and also that another episode immediately followed on what i think was cw11, and that of course i stayed up and watched all of that one too, and that--yes it gets worse--the second episode that i forced myself to stay up for was also one i had seen before.

i don't have any analysis for you at this time. i'm not sure it can be intelligently considered. it's a classic case of "it is what it is."

i am what i am