somewhat superficial post about eyes

something rather large has occurred in my life just recently that has very literally changed the way i view the world, so i really ought to address it here. there is a picture of myself on the right side of this page (no not the beach-jumping one). it's my profile image and i used to feel like it described me perfectly: wife-beater, pirates hat, guinness, "what the fuck you want" gesture, and the almost-silly moustache and glasses-dominated face. well, lately i haven't really like that picture much, and have in fact a couple times tried to change it but unfortunately i'm an idiot and my attempts failed. so it's still there. but one of the essentials of that photograph is now very misleading: i no longer wear glasses. (yes i do drink guinness, yes i am still bound to the eptless pirates, but now that the weather has changed i've begun to forsake the beater for my ties, and finally i'd like to think i'm more pleasant lately. weird.)
so yeah, i don't wear glasses anymore. i don't wear contacts either though for the last three days it's constantly felt like my eyes have been covered by very dried-out or slept-in contacts. see, i had LASIK last friday. (yeah, i know i just punned.) and since it's only been a few days now and i've not reached that thoughtless level of comfort, i'm not quite sure how to react to it all.
(sorry but i just realized this is a boring post. blame that on all the people i've seen since the surgery and delivered breathless descriptions of the procedure and the simple exhilaration of seeing upon waking up in the morning. i'm just about tapped out of that vibe now, though maybe in the next couple days i'll try to share in the most descriptive verbiage i can muster the details of the procedure--at least verbally it seemed to raise hairs of listeners.) (i promise i'll give a more metaphysical written reaction to this whole experience soon. just not in the proper mood for that now.)
one thing i can say definitively: i can't wait until i can rub my eyes again. you can't appreciate how much you take for granted the ability to rub your eyes, and how comforting that sensation can be. it's extremely involuntary. and with the semi-constant dryness i'm dealing with, it's unbelievably tempting. so that's one freakishly tormenting aspect.
aha. shit. there is one semi-interesting tidbit related to this whole experience: the sunglasses. first, it should be explained that i have a rather large pet peeve (actually it's more than a pet peeve) relating to people wearing sunglasses inappropriately, such as on subways, at night, or when carrying on a conversation with someone when it's not necessary to wear them. i find this to the be one of the most self-centered, asshole, annoying habits. wearing sunglasses does not make you cool. wearing sunglasses while talking to another person does not give you a psychological edge. wearing sunglasses at night does not make you more interesting or mysterious. it makes you a stupid fuck. and sorry if this makes me even a sliver prudish, but i think it's terribly rude.
so of course i've been forced to wear sunglasses outside, at any and all times of the day, since the surgery last friday, in order to protect from gusts of wind of any flying dirt or debris in the air. for the last 4 days, i have been the giant douchebag. one of my friends said i looked like jack nicholson while inside watching a football game saturday night (this is maybe the only time that comparison is ever negative). another day i walked right by a former coworker on the sidewalk unnoticed because of the celebrity-ish large sunglasses-and-pulled-down-tight-hat combo. on the subway saturday i could sense the discomfort of those seated across from me, especially the females. and i felt shame. not-my-fault shame, but still.
also, on this same theme: today i ventured for some lunch and actually forgot to put on my trusty free plastic big-ass sunglasses. so my one block trek for food, on this windy early fall day, turned into a superbly paranoic experience. suddenly i felt a kinship with hunter s thompson and his drug-addled waltz through the cocktail lounge in Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, the one where he thought the people were lizards and there is the awesome Ralph Steadman illustration. well, every person i walked by i flinched at, and every time someone turned around i expected them to claw my eyes out and don't even ask me what was going through my mind as i strolled, head-down, through the smoky foul mist drifting downwind of the kebab cart.