Friday, December 4, 2009

Self-Preservation


Some son of a bitch fruit seller is trying to gain my acquaintance, and I'm not at all happy about it.
There is this pretty standard guy with a pretty standard sidewalk fruit cart who sets up on Boerum between Joralemon and Livingston, right in the path I take to the train every morning. I have a fairly rigid fruit-buying regimen: I get all of it either at the corner grocery store (which is excellent, by the way, corner of Court and Pacific) or at a sidewalk cart near my workplace. It doesn't make a lot of sense for me to stop at a place on the way to the train and have to hold the fruit during the whole trip, so I've never given a thought to actually buying fruit from this guy in Downtown Brooklyn. I made the mistake of making eye contact with him a couple times within a week, though, and the guy must have realized that I walk by his cart every day at the same time and figured he might have a potentially steady customer. That is all fine by me, but he's taken to saying "good morning" to me most days now. The first time it took me off guard but my social instincts prompted a return greeting. The second time he said it I was in a stream of people and was able to act like I wasn't paying attention. The third time was this morning, when I was walking alone, staring ahead, conscious of his prescence, and simply ignored him. I'm going to continue with this action until he gets the idea. I don't begrudge him trying to warm up to a person in order to increase his sales. That's his job. But I also don't like being guilted into buying fruit. Me and this guy, we are not friends. I don't want to be friends and neither does he. I carry on in accordance with this fact; he does not. And so it must be.
This situation is not dissimilar to another one I've found myself in several times in my life, that of the unintended uninvited romantic interest. Clearly, I'm an attractive figure for people. Perhaps not as clearly, I'm very rarely interested in others. Most often what I've done when a potential paramour begins to make her true intentions known (almost never overtly) is simply to ignore that person, or at least ignore her more than would be natural given whatever level of social acquaintance we had before the development of the crush. This might be a touch immature, but it is effective. And, because the person isn't viewing you or the situation in an unbiased manner, she won't be offended by the ignorance, so her image of you won't be tarnished by what are really kinda rude actions by you. Assuming you are disciplined and patient (two skills I possess), it's just a matter of time until the nuisance disappears and things carry on with you no worse for wear.
It's about controlling the borders of the land of you. Some people have bigger fences than others.

1 comment:

Buddha said...

dude, make friends with your fruit guy.

Just greet him every morning having an apple purchased elsewhere.....he will get it.