BUT--I've got to say that the block of homebuying/renting shows that air most weeknights from 8-11pm or so have got me a little bit hooked. Most of it is the timeliness of my own relatively recent decision to purchase a condo next summer upon our expected move to Chicago. Watching people look at houses (they even have one called "Property Virgins," which is what it sounds like and naturally a good fit for me), and seeing the way they approach the lending process, is quite informative. One big complaint I have is that, in an attempt to keep engaged a larger audience, they don't do a very good job of reminding viewers where their Virgins or Hunters are lookng. It's great for me to see that the house they are touring costs $195,000, but it makes a giant difference if that house is in Arkansas or Connecticut. You more or less have to take their $$ with a grain of salt.
Outside of the actual informative value of these shows, it's fun, and sometimes maddening, to watch the prospective buyers. For one thing, I love to see the idiots hone in on totally inconsequential things like the paint color or the carpet, or to be excited about the furniture. You're making a $200k+ investment so please don't focus on $500 worth of paint or multi-thousand dollars worth of furniture that doesn't actually come with the house. Unbelievable. There was one couple that was looking in the $500K range in suburban Atlanta that was completely and totally consumed with a "formal dining room." It was the first thing they asked for and the first thing they commented on in each house. If a single--and let's face it, stupid--issue is that important to you, you're probably not qualified to be signing away half a million dollars that you don't have. Which leads me to my next troubling observation: no one understands how mortgages work as they relate to down payments. No one. Even the most seemingly intelligent, prepared, and thoughtful people on these shows will never put more than about 12% down on their purchases. I've seen numerous people buy places for over $200k with zero down payment. It's particularly troubling/amusing to know that most of those shows were filmed in early 2008 or before, and that all these idiots and the banks that loaned to them were partially responsible for the collapse of the US economy. Thanks, folks.
So anyway (poor segue), what I started off intending to talk about was design shows that HGTV sometimes sneaks into their evening homebuyers lineup. Last night I was treated to one of these. Correction: I was subjected to one of these.
Right up front I should say to all of those people out there who actually subsist as "designers:" congratulations. I'm going to say wholly disrespectful things about your profession, but at the same time I can totally respect a good con artist. So, bravo.
I've long been mystified by the whole field of design. No, not the whole field of design but more the idea of re-design that manages to sell many magazines and fill many TV hours. (People who actually initially make something functional from abstract ideas, or who figure out how best to put something together I admire greatly. Whoever was responsible for making a fan's blades in just the right shape and tilt scores big points from me. Same for the person who came up with the famous London subway map.) What drives me nuts are the personal or home "designers." They are full of shit, basically.
Last night, some relatively attractive woman (that's her to the left) who is no doubt full of herself and her "talent" was charged with redecorating another woman's bedroom. Basically what she did was spend some money to buy new things and also add a few pretentious flourishes, most onerous was the creation of a "sitting area" where previously the owner had a dresser and a TV. The "designer" was extremely proud of herself with this change, but she never really mentioned what she did with the dresser or the TV. I guess the owner will just have to find some other place to keep her clothes, but hey, at least she has a nice place to formally sit down and read the paper--in her bedroom. Also, I guess she won't be watching HGTV's design shows from the comfort of her bed anymore.
The "designer" also described the room before as a style-less "mishmash" of "hand-me-down" items. After she had finished working her magic, she described the room as an "eclectic" combination of pieces that she had "re-used" (this last bit was to brag about how she saved money).
Let's take the SATs -- ECLECTIC:MISHMASH::RE-USED:___________.
Give up yet? How about "HAND-ME-DOWN"? Yeah I think that would work well there. Hey designer lady: go fuck yourself. You're full of shit. Apparently all it takes to become a "designer" is a thesaurus. I don't know why this stuff bothers me, but it does.
4 comments:
Alex watches these shows too. The two things that blow me away most are these:
1. People qualify for mortgages that are way more than they should take on, but they seem thrilled about it. A couple with a household income of $60,000 should not be getting a $300,000 loan. Of course bad things are going to happen.
2. Over and over I've seen a person or couple go in and say "We were pre-approved for a $300,000 loan, but only want to spend $240,000." I think to myself "Good for them, that seems smart." But without fail, they see a few houses and realize that, for just a little more, they could have that extra bedroom or formal dining room or lanai. Then the negotiations don't go as planned. The next thing you know, they spend $300,000. Sure it was more than they thought they could afford, but the bank approved it, so no big deal.
The latest show Alex has been watching is one where people buy a house and critique the current state of the decor (generally insulting it quite harshly). Then they redecorate to their tastes. Finally the former owners come in and say "Why didn't you keep the nautical theme in the living room?" Awesome, awesome stuff.
Probably 98% of the population knows less than enough to fully understand and be responsible with mortgages or other large loans, yet thanks to The American Dream, maybe 85% of the population either aspires to or already owns a mortgage. This is like throwing a lot of people who can't swim into the ocean and hoping for the best, the only difference being that instead of drowning the penalty is that the person doing the throwing-in (the bank) actually stands to gain (usually) from the drowning. No shit people default. And no shit banks are happy to keep giving them loans.
I'm glad the real estate sector was a big cause of the crisis, because it brings all this to light for even someone like me, and it makes watching these homebuying shows a real perverse pleasure.
try to keep in mind mr. folger, these are entertainment programs. not at all different than obtaining your world news from us weekly.
in my opinion, what one should be watching (especially if one is within 15 months of purchasing a built structure) are one of the excellent shows on pbs. 50 minutes of hometime, bob vila's home again or new yankee workshop are going to be far more beneficial, and enjoyable, than 40 minutes of mind numbing paint color and knickknack selection could ever dream to be.
now don't get me wrong, the pbs shows still churn out piles upon piles of tasteless crap, but the caveat is that you actually fucking learn something. watching ol' bob resurface a wood floor can be tremendously helpful, when down the road you find yourself with a beat up wood floor. besides the obvious benefit of possessing the knowledge of how to do something, you can also save yourself a boatload of money.
the problem with the 'designers' on hgtv is that what they're basically doing is smearing some colors on a blank piece of paper, much like a child would. the fact that this is far more entertaining to 90% of the population should tell you something about 90% of the population.
my justification for doing what i do between the hours of 9am and 6pm weekdays comes the one day that i walk onto a job and all of the walls are in place and skim coated smooth. from here on the quality of the space can only decline, and it does, the second paint hits the wall. paint serves no purpose other than to distract the observer from perceiving the space. trump l'oeil.
we are in agreement, particularly about the pbs (or any) home shows. like many males in the world, i can watch a man fix something for uncomfortably long stretches of time.
i would disagree about the paint though. a nice orange. very soothing. they should make spackle orange.
vive l'orange, frenchy.
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