A Poem

I wrote this almost a year ago. I've been told I'm not terribly prolific.

Cinderella on the 6

Ten beers walking slowly stopping starting along the dark cracked birdshit sidewalk.
Trip stumble swoop and glide over potholes en route to the 86th st train stop.
Fumble in the pocket pull the card please swipe again at this turnstile. Ok.
Three young Bettys looking wide-eyed confused planning finding consensus.
Infused with the walk-heat forehead moisture undo the second button and breathe.
Turnstile rotate woman fascinate moving ten twenty thirty forty feet down the line.
Stand sobriety limbs carefully asunder still a herky jerk in her thick-belted direction.
Leaning tight-jeans white shirt against white tile wall, staring at me only peripherally.
Stiff neck forced posture time the perv just right yes peripheral no more. Ok.
Drift on, drunk return, the Bettys getting closer bored spread out hangdog what did you really expect at 2am on a Monday?
Men on the tracks flashlights waving calm still air dead sound dead but the feet slide.
Too far turn around muse hiding by a pole knee betrays. Stare stare wait she looks.
Once more with confidence skiing between the poles forty thirty twenty ten stop.
Lights and noise quiet and the air disappears and the prey is alarmed.
Danger stop freeze wait for it five feet train slow door open three feet one foot—
Cross paths no eyes no board train sit she’s a mouse on the next car. Fool. Ok.
Visual through the window foggy sight eyes again good a game the mouse is playing.
Stare stare mouse stands looks fast turn pause wow butt perfect silver buckle.
Mouse skitters sits farther away the horror foggier still brown hair but barely now.
Stare stare one station two three stare stiff neck stiff thunder flows like a river.
Purse and hands aflutter mirror brush plastic sticks and discs spread eyes concentrate.
Minutes of attention satisfaction new face stand turn full figure salute to the window.
Not for me ignorance and consternation two stops consults watch and phone what did you really expect at 2am on a Monday?
Beauty queen smoking struck lightning and lived like lips of fire red with rings.
Next to last stop appointment time one last look tease full figure ample chump.
Mouse-marmot stand grasp pole damn you don’t look at me I’m poor and horny. Ok.
Exit moves heels with ease confusion failure rube don’t look at me.
Wheels move mouse slips up up up and out away into his clutch slipperless.

Tues Sep 12 8:19pm

darkness warshed over the dude. darker than a black steer's tookus on a moonless prairie night............there was noooo bottom...................

i'm fucking erumpent!
i hate exclamation points but there it is.

Just called a former girlfriend to tell her that i really appreciate her as a human being. Apologized for not be able to close with her over the last year-plus. Then called my sister and among other things told her i love her. Good. These people deserve to share in my positive emotivity. So it's good.
On my way back inside i stopped and bought some fruit and made the vendor smile which I've never seen him do. my caps are very erratic now, but such is life. Then I'm pretty sure I just made a guy's day here at work. New guy working for one of our subtenants and he needed his access cards and voila. Good.
Strangers! Come to me, you glorious motherfuckers! Come to me! I've got it. Right. here. good.

Now

Ready. Set. Go.
Epiphany. The hate pact is over. I've been so nice to people in the last two days I can't even handle it. I mean they can't even handle it. Good. Walking around the office today like an emotional Johnny Appleseed, dropping seeds of good. Elijah or something like that. Little nugget-sized pretzels here giving me the salt. it's summer you need it. caps begone shift key too slow. no i'm too slow to handle the shift key. i got the fear in me and shit is getting weird. good. i'm going to write a poem called the finnish tourist. he presented himself to me in the shower this morning. good shower. i think his name will be ermi. just picked some pretzel dough out of my lower left molars. i get self-conscious about doing that but i often feel the need. i never had braces in my life so maybe my teeth don't fit together as perfectly as they should and thus i get pretzel stuck in the little crevasses. that was uneccessary for me to use that word. it might not even be right. even the best of us are pretentious. but i'm just letting the real run free. anxiety. i'm talking about the fullest dictionary definition. and i'm an unbridled volcano of it right now. but that is just one layer. there is more. alack and alas. alack, alas, but here it is this potion my brother is dead my lover and now i'll end it. or some such thing. maybe i'm confusing that part. ol billy the bard. i'm talking about shakespeare right now but i think i'm too cool to mention his name. alack and alas. miss juliet was rather emotionally susceptible. bravo. there's a good line by the devil in karamazov too where he says something similar: "i'm very sensitive and emotionally inclined." i might be flipping the words around but that's the nut. yes this whole day, all 6 hours that i have consciously existed within it, has been a breeze of air, a gentle tornado sweeping me along. i think i'm the storm though, i'm the energy and still i'm carrying myself. like that stupid poem or whatever it is about jesus or god on the beach and his footprints cause he's carrying the subject. well i am god and i am me and i am forbearing and i am vulnerable and i am infantile and i am sensitive and i am strength. and now i am stepping away from the desk